Dr. Martha Jo Atkins: There’s More to Dying Than Meets the Eye
Happy September everyone. I can’t believe we’re turning the corner to Fall and then the holidays already, again. The seasons we are falling into, pardon the pun, are of things dying annnnd recognizing the beauty that also surrounds it.
Finding beauty in dying is usually challenging. For most of my life I had total fear around it, which I think began when I was 13 when my great uncle passed away. It was my first experience with someone I was close with dying. He was bigger than life and everybody loved Uncle Sam. My family flew to Chicago to go to his funeral and we stayed in his home, which really spooked me at the time because all his things and medicine were in place as if he were still there. At the funeral they had his casket open and I’ll never forget how scared I was as I saw him under this red-ish light that was hanging above, and my grandfather loudly crying over his brother. It was the only time I had seen my grandpa cry.
Needless to say that left quite the impression on me with regard to death and dying. And not a good one.
Last year I happened to watch a TEDx talk on this topic with Dr. Martha Jo Atkins from 2013, which has over a million views. And when I heard her say, “When we educate families and the patient about the experiences of dying, there is less fear. And my goodness, we need less fear around death and dying” I grabbed my computer and wrote to ask her to be my guest on Loving Later Life. And I am so thrilled to tell you that she said yes!
Dr. Martha Jo Atkins, is a dog-loving, (Ph.D.) end-of-life licensed professional counselor and counselor supervisor (LPC-S), coach, speaker , doula and author. Dr. Atkins has a thirty-year career helping children and adults negotiate end-of-life and grief.
She is the founder of the Children’s Bereavement Center of South Texas, served as Executive Director of Abode Contemplative Care for the Dying in San Antonio, and is the author of the book Signposts of Dying. She is the founder of Dying School, designed to build community while deepening conversations around end-of-life + aliveness.
Now don’t touch that dial! I can’t wait to share this conversation with you and I do believe that it will have you thinking a little differently about death and dying. And I really want to have her back because there is so much more I want to talk about with her that we just didn’t have time for.
So get comfy, and let’s let Martha Jo help us think about and talk about dying…
Not be missed take-ways:
1. You can’t feel fear when you are feeling love. It’s a practice.
2. Care less about what other people think.
3. Recognize the strength of your heart and body and how you need to take care of both of those.
4. You can’t make everybody happy.
5. Figuring out what your heart and body need sometimes requires hard choices out in the world.
6. Grief is a part of life.
7. Sometimes it’s hard to know what we need to do, what the next thing is. Instead of looking at the whole kit and kaboodle, find the next right thing that feels good, take a breath and take that step. That makes a life.
And your mission, that I hope you’ll choose to accept…
1) If you have fears and discomfort around dying, make an effort to learn more about it and share how you feel and talk with someone.
2) Check out Martha Jo’s videos, books, website and social media to help with this process:
Facebook: marthajoatkins
Instagram: marthajoatkins
LinkedIn: Martha Jo Atkins
Website: marthajoatkins.com
Email: Martha@MarthaAtkins.com
Her book: Sign Posts of Dying
Her courses:
The Language of Dying: to be released October 15, 2022
Dying School: February 2023
Thank you so much for listening! And until the next time, live passionately, vulnerably, and keep loving later life!
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